I was listening to the Broski Report the other night while driving home. Britney Broski’s podcast always keeps me entertained, from her humorous jokes to her moments of philosophical inquiries. But one moment in her hour-long ramble struck me into a spiral of thoughts.
She was talking about her goals and dreams in life, and then all of a sudden, she said something along the lines of “why am I still thinking of men? I don’t need men.”
It’s such a simple, nagging thought, but I related to it so heavily. It’s true. Why, as successful and independent women, do we still feel the urge to need men? I don’t need a man. I say that all the time to my friends and in my journal. But, there’s always this grating voice in the back of my head, particularly on lonely nights, when I’m wondering why nobody has chosen me. What is it that’s undesirable about me? Why hasn’t any man ever treated or loved me right? There are endless questions I could ask and never get a straight answer to.
A part of me wonders if this ailment has something to do with the fairy tale stories we were brought up with. The media we consume narrates our inner thoughts. So when you show little girls movies and books about men coming into their lives and sparking the beginning of their story, it’s hard not to fixate on this line of thinking.
Rapunzel doesn’t gain the courage to leave her tower until Flynn Rider stumbles upon her tower. Ariel wants so badly to be a human, but only asks Ursula for a favor after she finds Prince Eric. Tiana is about to get the restaurant of her dreams, which she has worked so hard for, but then it takes a frog prince to really put this into motion.
All of these stories are centered around romance. All of these strong, capable women have their lives transformed by the presence of a man.
My entire life, I’ve viewed getting into a relationship as a new chapter of life. A season full of new experiences, growth, and people. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed that I have grown and learned more from just being on my own than from being with someone who will drag me down.
It sounds simple, but there is so much more to life than romance.
Love is present in the friends and family who surround you. Love is present in yourself. Women do not need a man to begin their story. We are more than capable of creating our own lives. Centering our purpose and mindset around our individual goals is crucial. Remove men from the center podium.
This is not some cynical message preaching “don’t date men” and “you don’t need love”. Love and romance is beautiful when it is done right. It can bring wonderful growth and bountiful happiness. Love is beautiful. But this beauty doesn’t need to be center stage in this play. At the end of the day, you have your own thoughts to fall asleep to.
No one else needs to be the lead in the story about you.
Thanks for reading 🙂
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Ashley